Ritual Reflections, Tarot, Chandler is Awesome

 Despite the fact that I got the date wrong, and the full moon was Tuesday, not Wednesday, I though it went rather well. My main concern is that I spend too much time reading, checking the schedule, making sure everything is going right and in order, and I don’t spend enough time feeling, soaking in the experience. I’m always constantly thinking, worrying, planning, and it’s rare for me to just let go and experience. This is something I need to work on, both in ritual and in everyday life.

The other day I drew three tarot cards, asking what I should do to better understand or proceed on my path. First, I should explain my deck. This is the one I have: http://www.amazon.com/Faeries-Oracle-Brian-Froud/dp/0743201116 I really enjoy it. I was extremely nervous when I bought it, wanting it to be just the right deck for me. I remember pulling out the cards, and when I came to the Solus card, I knew I had made the right choice. The book that accompanies the deck also has exercises to help you not only gain a better understanding with the cards, but to faery as well. And I need to do them at some point, heh…

Anyway, on Friday I drew cards 35, 36, and 64, all reversed.

Card 35 – The Faun

            Reverse meaning is: “The situation – and probably the people involved – have become bogged down in murky energy and need a breath of wild, fresh air blown through them. Organize a picnic  or go for walks in the park or the country with  any others involved, and invite the faeries to come along and help you harmonize the atmosphere….. Come back to your natural self. Be aware of the cycles of the sun and moon, the ever changing, flowing balance of Mama Nature. Live in harmony with that. Exercise appropriately. Eat well.  Clear the toxins of “civilized” living from your system. Go out and speak to Lady Moon as often as you can. Smile back at Father Sun.”

Card 36 -  Spirit Dancer

            Reverse meaning: “Self-absorbed and obsessed, the Spirit Dancer has become entangled in her own unexpressed and perhaps inexpressible fantasies, She feels angry and driven, and may be unable to express her feelings in any way except through destruction. Alternatively, this card may speak of the artist’s block. The cure for that is to just create. Even if the creation falls far short of our goals, even if it is trite or trivial, just do it. It is a matter of priming the pump until the waters of creativity, emotion, and inspiration flow freely.”

Card 64 – Gawtcha

            Reverse meaning: Stagnation rules. It may seem the situation is forever stuck, mired down in a swamp of misery boredom, and pain. So it is – and it will remain until someone, arguably the querent, voluntarily sacrifices something outgrown but tightly clung to, in order to acquire something better. Bear in mind that the only truly meaningful sacrifice is ourselves – our time, our energy, our attitudes and beliefs. Gawtcha standing on his head suggests that we can break loose from this pattern by dedicating ourselves to some service, some voluntary but meaningful sacrifice that will loosen the knots, break loose the cement around the joints, and set us free. Gawtcha would like to see us do this and save him a lot of effort. ‘Otherwise.’ Hr offers helpfully, ‘I’ll come and help you break loose just as soon as I have a moment to spare.’

And last but not least, Chandler is awesome and drew me a pagan-y portrait. I’m working on a colored version, but here’s a black and white one. If anyone would like to try their own stab at coloring it, I’m sure it would look beautiful (with Chandler’s permission of course)

http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c235/7robyn19907/316488_1865214808793_1793712039_1289359_1789186632_n.jpg

Chandler too has an awesometastic blog, found here: http://characterarcade.blogspot.com/
You should totally go comission her.

And since I’m plugging awesome blogs, take a peek at Becca’s: http://sparklywitchcup.blogspot.com/

http://prettylittlerobbers.blogspot.com/

Sooj’s blog: http://www.skinnywhitechick.com/blog.php

I’m sure there’s one or two I’m forgetting, but I suppose that’s all for now :)

As a side, unrelated note, I can’t seem to comment on anyone else’s blogs, and this is extremely frustrating. Anyone know why this is?

On Dedication

On Wednesday, the full moon, I’m going to be performing my dedication ritual, hopefully with a friend. Even though I’m not entirely sire what I believe in yet, I know that this is a good path, and I’m dedicating myself to my journey. To courage, strength, wisdom, curiosity, etc. To finding myself and finding my way.

On this page (http://bluemoonwicca.org/initiation.html) I found some nice descriptors of dedication, which explains nicely what I’m planning on doing. Here:

“Introductions - The main point of Self Dedication is to introduce yourself to the god(s) and goddess(s). At this point you do not have to have chosen a particular god and goddess to work with. You may not even be clear on who or what they are. What you will be declaring in your Self Dedication ritual is a desire to get to know them and to understand what you can do for them. You may also want to take this opportunity to introduce yourself to the elementals (Air, Fire, Water, Earth). Again, you do not need to have a full understanding of the nature of the elements at this point. You need only to have a desire to get to know them better.

Promises - At the very least a Self Dedication rite will include a promise to the god and goddess that you want to get to know them and that you want to understand what it fully means to be Wiccan, and that you will do your best to learn how to honor them and the Earth. Sometimes more specific promises are made during a Self Dedication ritual such as a vow to recycle, do volunteer work, read a certain number of books, meditate on a regular basis or anything else which seems appropriate to you. You may also want to made promises to each individual Element.”

For the dedication oil, I took olive oil with some Sandalwood oil and added:

Rosemary - Protection, Love, Lust, Mental Powers, Exorcism, Purification, Healing,Sleep, Youth
Sage - Immortality, Longevity, Wisdom, Protection, Wishes
Fennel - Protection, Healing, Purification
Bay - Protection, Psychic Powers, Healing, Purification, Strength
Parsley - Love, Protection, Purification
Thyme - health, Healing,S leep,Psychic Powers, Love, Purification, Courage
Marjoram - Protection, love, Happiness, Health, Money
Cinnamon - Spirituality, Success, Healing, Power, Psychic Powers, Love

I’ve been concentrating energy on it once a day since I put it together, and will continue to do so until the 11^th.

I just finished my wand. At some point I’m going to have to consecrate it, since I’d like to use it in the ritual itself.

As usual, I take my own ideas and combine them with rituals I find online or in books. I generally combine at least 2 or three, and replace anything I feel doesn’t fit right with better suited words or phrases. Luckily there’s no copyright infringement in ritual :) I’m taking a lot from the New Moon ritual, as I already did a lot of the rewording and such there.

I also bought a Book of Shadows to copy the ritual into. It’s black, with a celtic knot on the front and a nice design on the spine. I rather like it. The problem is my atrocious handwriting, and trying to get everything to fit right, haha.I might have to rewrite everything at some point. Probably in pen so it doesn’t smudge.

The ritual itself is 7 pages in Word, so it’s… rather long. I’ll post it if anyone asks :)

God & Goddess vs Pantheons. Also, On Labels (Or: Hi, I’m…Wiccan? Pagan? Eclectic? All of the Above?)

I decided to start off with polytheism, because this is one of the bigger things I’ve been trying to figure out (along with spirits – we’ll get to that in a later blog). I’ve been greatly enjoying my studies in wicca, even though originally I was a little against it. I enjoyed the pure polytheism of the neodruids and such too much. But somehow I got from there to where I am now, where I usually think of two primary deities. Almost all the books, and all the music, are about Wicca. I really don’t have much of a problem with this. It’s all beautiful, whether it’s referring to a god or goddess in general or one in particular. I’m rather eclectic. An eclectic Wiccan?  At the same time I also enjoy the blanket term pagan. I think I’m a pagan eclectic wiccan. Pagan for sure. I finally took the step and changed my religion on facebook to Paganism :) But I’d never been quite sure if I wanted to commit to the term wiccan as well, though more and more I’m starting to lean towards it. Damn me and my predisposition to slap labels on everything after I shove them in boxes.

Sometimes I have a hard time letting go and just being. I’ve been getting better at it, but it’s still hard.

…..back to my point. Even within wicca, there are variant opinions on who exactly the God and Goddess are. Some are atheistic, while others are polytheistic, and some are even monotheistic. Some see The God and Goddess as being the sum of all the other deities, and those deities are simply aspects of the greater whole. After all, the Goddess is 3 in one, Maiden , Mother, and Crone, so why can’t it go farther than that?

At the moment, I’m teetering somewhere between agnosticism and that the God and Goddess are simply representative of the great number of gods out there. After all, every time you say a prayer, it’s be rather difficult to name out 1000 deities. If you need a specific one, such as Hectate, for instance, you call on her when working a certain ritual. Many might see this as calling on that particular crone aspect of the Goddess. Perhaps even , the collective being of all these deities forms the God and Goddess, making them almost separate, bnut at the same time, everything. This idea is starting to grow on me. Whichever way it is, though, it makes sense. I suppose I just need to ruminate on it more, end eventually an answer will present itself.

…and apologies if none of this made sense. Blessed be~

Merry Meet

I felt weird with nothing being up. It just looked so sad and lonely. So I decided to put up a little something even  if it’s just to say hello. Or… a mission statement. Or something. Eheh.

I hope this blog will focus on my spirituality; my struggles, my breakthroughs, my journey. But there will probably be other stuff popping up as well, because it usually does.

A part of me thinks it’s really weird to put something as personal as all that up for the world to see, but then I reminded myself that most people won’t give a damn, won’t know it’ll exist. This is for my friends who are going through the same challenges and blessings, so we can better understand and help each other. So we can grow. And for people who want to point, scream, and call names, but whatever. Hopefully none of them will show up here.

So, uh….. yeah. Merry meet, merry part, and merry meet again.